A taste of what I felt were some of my best HDR photographs that I captured in 2009. The last photograph is of Patterson Lodge on the grounds of Lake Forest College, which I recently donated to the College. An administrator wanted to hang the print inside his office which is inside that building. CLICK ON IMAGES TO ENLARGE.
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
my daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
so I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near,
but I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know,
then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
and I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
a lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, my wife and my child.
“What are you doing?” I asked without fear,
“Come in this moment, it’s freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
you should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.
To the window that danced with a warm fire’s light
then he sighed and he said “It’s really all right.
I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night.”
“It’s my duty to stand at the front of the line,
that separates you from the darkest of times.”
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I’m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ‘Pearl on a day in December,”
Then he sighed, “That’s a Christmas ‘Gram always remembers.”
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ‘Nam’,
and now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while,
but my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
the red, white, and blue… an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet.
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
or lay down my life for my sister and brother.
Who stand at the front against any and all,
to ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.”
“So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright,
your family is waiting and I’ll be alright.”
“But isn’t there something I can do, at the least?
Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you’ve done,
for being away from your wife and your son.”
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
“Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we’re gone,
to stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
to know you remember we fought and we bled
is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”
- Author unknown
LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq
Last week and this week milestones are going to be reached regarding what I have been going through since April. I am hoping that this will bring some much needed tension relief. There are times that I feel that I am walking on pins and needles and this at least allows me to see the “light at the end of the tunnel.”
Friday was my first night out with “Tyke.” Tyke is someone who recently expressed interest in getting to know me better and suggested going out to dinner. We went to his place of choice and spent a lot of time talking about everything. Tyke revealed both the good and bad in his life. The “bad” part somewhat took me by complete surprise, given his age. But it is something that he has owned up to and has taken responsibility for, for which I was quite proud of. What seemed to be a short dinner turned out to be surprisingly long. We headed back toward his place to stop at the town’s park. We sat on the boardwalk and talked about “life” and what was beginning to develop between the two of us. It was turning out to be a cold evening for which I was bundled with only a windbreaker. He was extremely warm. We eventually had our moments of affection.
IT GOT MY MIND OFF HOW YOUNG HE WAS.
We said our “goodbyes” for the evening at about 10:30 PM.
Saturday was the annual dinner of the local GLBT association that I am a member of. It was great to see some faces that I haven’t seen in a long time and yet somewhat melancholic when I noticed who did not decide to attend. But we had over 100 members attend the Dinner which made it a great time. I suggested to the other Board members that we get photos of all the members before the tables get congested with all the food and people start loosening their ties. The President told me to “run with the idea” So I went around to all of the tables to get photos of the members. Sometimes the members can be a bit standoff-ish about getting their pictures taken, particularly if they’re still in the closet, but I was pleasantly surprised by the warm reception I received, particularly from couples. I thought this was another way to personally connect with the members when I send them their photos and also extend my thanks on behalf of the organization. And who knows, maybe the communique will open up other avenues?
I did a lot of dancing that evening and the banquet facility did a great job of controlling the temperature inside, not allowing it to get too warm. I didn’t want to be out on the roads too late, but at the same time I was having fun. I also didn’t want to leave the other board members “hanging” when it came to any clean-up or packing that needed to be done. I finally got home about 1:15 AM. Before attending the Dinner, I was planning on leaving about 11:00 PM to get me home by midnight. But it seemed like the night was still too young. I’m not one to stay up too late.
Sunday was another jam packed day, starting with church. I woke up on my own at 6:30 AM, but so wanted to go back to sleep. Luckily I did fall back to sleep until the alarm clock woke me up at 8:00 AM. Church was at 10:00 AM. In the middle of the service “Tyke” called me on my cell phone. Thank goodness I remembered to turn my cell phone to vibrate. After church we had our business meeting in the church hall where we approved the budget for 2010, approved revisions to the church’s constitution, and followed that up with a potluck. I called Tyke later and we decided to meet and go bowling for a few games. I did terrible my first game (don’t think I broke 70), but did OK the second and third game.
After bowling Tyke suggested that we go to my house. I was a bit hesitant about it only because of the condition I knew the living room would be in with the laundry I did on Saturday still thrown on the couch and the dining room table that has all my photography equipment and other miscellaneous items. But we came anyway. I showed him around the house and what I did to the basement by remodeling it. And he spotted the infamous Adirondack chair in the backyard. 
I cleared off the couch where we did some playing around and a lot of talking. I was more at ease with him at home than I was with him outside on the boardwalk the night before. Plus it was a lot warmer inside the house. And again, without so much talking,
IT GOT MY MIND OFF HOW YOUNG HE WAS. 
On the way back to his house to drop him off, we stopped to have dinner at Pizzeria Uno. I got him home around 8:45 PM. One thing I discovered driving back from his place was how dark the streets were, particularly along one state route with twists and turns. The speed limit in some areas was as high as 55 MPH, but I was more comfortable going 45 MPH. At one point this pick-up truck was riding my tail when I was going 60 MPH and I had to pull over on this narrow shoulder to allow him to pass. I finally was home around 9:15 PM. As soon as I got undressed, I hit the sack as I was extremely exhausted.
The photo below was another shot I captured on the nearby golf course in early October of this year. I thought that it would go well with the title of this post. This was a photo captured in High Dynamic Range (HDR).
I don’t have any photos that I can think of that I took which represents three, so I have settled with a photo of me with my two older brothers standing on the front steps where I was born and raised. I pass by the house on a regular basis which brings back many memories. I live less than a mile from there. I remember going through the house when I was in high school (we moved from here when I was in third grade) thanks to my girlfriend at the time who was a babysitter there and I couldn’t believe how small my bedroom was. It was really a “sitting room” for the master bedroom. I believe I may have been about 2 here…maybe 3.
Yours truly met “Tyke” not too long ago. “Tyke” was someone who caught my eye at a Fourth of July party earlier this summer. He had a nice sense of humor, personality, and a smile to die for. 
The Fourth of July party was announced through an e-mail that was sent to the guests. When “Tyke” sent an e-mail back to the hosts thanking them for the party, he sent it as a “Reply to All.” When I had seen his name signed in the e-mail, I quickly learned what his e-mail address was. I then sent him an e-mail just saying how nice it was to meet him and that I had hoped to see him in the future. His response was a cordial but “empty” one. I didn’t want to think anything more “into it.” Well, I ran into him again at another function two weeks ago. It was great to see him, but he was there with his best (female) friend. I didn’t know what to make of it in the beginning. What came to mind was my relationship with Guy from a few years back who had a best (female) friend that he actually roomed with and at times she always felt like a “third person” in our relationship. By the end of the night, “Tyke” was almost off my “radar” as far as a potential partner.
Then to my surprise, “Tyke” sent me an e-mail last weekend stating that he would like to go out to dinner with me and “how did I feel about that?” I told him that it sounded like a great idea, that he can give me a telephone call and we can schedule a dinner out together. I gave him my phone number and I heard from him the following evening. I was blown away by some of the things he had said and due to my own issues of “self worth”, I would ask myself why he would be saying such things. We’re going out to dinner this Friday.
The one thing that came to mind when I last saw him was when I could deduce from conversations how old (or young) he was. I estimated that “Tyke” is at least ten years younger than me. I’ve always felt comfortable dating older men, but I can’t recall ever dating a younger man. Not that younger men are a “turn off”, but it was always by coincidence. And now there is “Tyke” who could have some real potential.
Is age something that I should let bother me? Is this something that is only someone else’s problem? I recall dating Jim last year who is ten years older than me. I didn’t have an issue with the age difference, but would others have an issue was my worry. I always “heard” Mom in the back of my mind asking me why I would settle for someone so much older when I could find someone my own age. So is someone who is aged 28-30 (or maybe even younger) too young for a 41 year-old? I think I’ll just have to gauge where Friday and beyond takes us and not worry about the age difference for now.
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